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We were grabbing a bite of lunch at a small cafe, in a mall, right across from a booth that sold jewelry and where ears could be pierced for a fee. A mother approaches with a little girl of six or seven years old. The little girl is clearly stating that she doesn’t want her ears pierced, that’s she’s afraid of how much it will hurt, that she doesn’t like earrings much in the first place. Her protests, her clear ‘no’ is simply not heard. The mother and two other women, who work the booth, begin chatting and trying to engage the little girl in picking out a pair of earrings. She has to wear a particular kind when the piercing is first done but she could pick out a fun pair for later.

"I don’t want my ears pierced."

"I don’t want any earrings."

The three adults glance at each other conspiratorially and now the pressure really begins. She will look so nice, all the other girls she knows wear earrings, the pain isn’t bad.

She, the child, sees what’s coming and starts crying. As the adults up the volume so does she, she’s crying and emitting a low wail at the same time. “I DON’T WANT MY EARS PIERCED.”

Her mother leans down and speaks to her, quietly but strongly, the only words we could hear were ‘… embarrassing me.’

We heard, then, two small screams, when the ears were pierced.

Little children learn early and often that ‘no doesn’t mean no.’

Little children learn early that no one will stand with them, even the two old men looking horrified at the events from the cafeteria.

Little girls learn early and often that their will is not their own.

No means no, yeah, right.

Most often, for kids and others without power, ”no means force.”

from "No Means Force" at Dave Hingsburger’s blog.

This is important. It doesn’t just apply to little girls and other children, though it often begins there.

For the marginalized, our “no’s” are discounted as frivolous protests, rebelliousness, or anger issues, or we don’t know what we’re talking about, or we don’t understand what’s happening.

When “no means force” we become afraid to say no.

(via k-pagination)

element-of-change:

Aang/Zaheer: Flight and The Thought Chakra

Someone said to me, “Even Aang couldn’t fly like that.” Then I recalled the moment he relinquished his connection to Katara, unlocked the Thought Chakra, and entered the Avatar State under the influence of pure cosmic energy. Aglow with heavenly light, he levitated. We see no evidence of Airbending; he merely floats skyward.

Is this the same flight we see Zaheer attain after having accepted the loss of P’Li, untethered himself from desire, unlocked the Thought Chakra, and entered the void?

As many have theorized, this technique seems to be attainable only when love is lost or otherwise forgone. Aang was prepared to sacrifice his happiness and love for unlimited cosmic power. Shouldn’t it stand that this flow of energy unlocks unaided flight? In the least, it would seem so in here.

transientfashion:

Pendragon Shoes

Established in 1987, Pendragon is the designer shoemaking duo Jackie Orme Ward and Adrian Lockwood. Their vision? To create something extraordinary and unique; a quest to bring to life shoes you’d dreamt you might one day find; shoes to desire and delight… shoes to treasure.

They accept commissions from around the world and create exclusive limited edition collections, costume shoes, one off exhibition art pieces – all designed and personally hand made. Rare buttons, antique buckles, vintage and hand tooled leathers combine to create the distinct Pendragon signature. You won’t find these shoes anywhere else!

the-dragons-thoughts:

Imagine finding a dragon egg one day, and it hatches in your house and thinks you’re its mom. Then the next morning you wake up and find this mini dragon has gathered all the lose change and shiny objects in your house in a pile, and is gnawing on a nickel. And then when you take it out for walks, it picks up every coin it sees cause its a hoarder. And your house is eventually full of coins. And you are rich. And have a dragon.

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